Tom Brady Roasts Kim Kardashian On Netflix Live Roast

When I think of Tom Brady, I think of a guy who has worked extremely hard to protect his image over the years, to the point that anything negative that has happened to him on and off the field seems to dissipate like dew on my car windshield in the morning. Yes, I can see it for 30 seconds, but suddenly, it is gone.

Since retiring two years ago, Brady has appeared on countless podcasts, including his own, and will be in the number one Fox broadcast booth this fall. Instead of being targeted by Roger Goodell or opposing defenders on the field, Brady was in the hot seat he chose to sit in for Netflix's live event, "The Roast of Tom Brady, AKA The Greatest Roast of All Time."  

I can only wonder if he regrets agreeing to the roast. One thing is certain: He will probably never admit publicly that it was a bad idea.

Brady was attacked from the left and the right and even sacked on numerous occasions by a handful of comedians and former teammates, including Randy Moss, Julian Edelman, Rob Gronkowski, Bert Kreischer, Dana White, Jeff Ross, Tony Hinchcliffe, and the shortest host in roast history, Kevin Hart. 

A special shout out to comedian Tony Hinchcliffe for nailing every joke he delivered. As for Brady, like in all roasts, he got his revenge. One of his more memorable roasts came at the expense of Kim Kardashian, who may have been roasted more than Brady tonight. 

“I know Kim was terrified to be here tonight…not because of this but because her kids are at home with their dad” said Brady. 

What Does The Brady Say
"I know sometimes you live in Denver," Brady said. "And sometimes you live in Louisiana. But you’ll always live in my shadow."

“When I heard there was a slow, white Bronco heading down the 405 to come here tonight, I thought we might actually see a real football legend,” Brady continued.

“Like the rest of America, I will always remember where I was that fateful day in September 2001 when, tragically, those two Jets slammed into Drew Bledsoe,” Brady said.

He had a message for New York Giants fans and Eli Manning, whom he lost to in the Super Bowl twice.

“F*** Eli and f*** you too. Twice."

He also gave a sly nod to Roger Goodell and deflategate.

“The NFL spent $20 million and found that it was more ‘probable’ than not, that I was ‘generally’ aware that someone may have deflated my footballs. You could’ve just given me the 20 million and I would’ve just told you I f***ing did it.”

Brady closed with Belichick jokes.
“You are a true coaching genius," Brady said. "You had to choose between an aging, injured, overpaid Drew Bledsoe and a young, healthy, minimum-wage superstar. I could have got a f***ing coach from Foxboro f***ing high school to make that decision. …